[Depression] Alcohol & Perhaps Drug Problem

[Anonymous]

Well people this is hard to explain. Lets just state to say the least. The last 2 years of my life have been rocky as hell. I almost want to let myself go. But I know there is still time to stop as I'm only 19 and got a long life ahead of myself.

First to start lets say that I had a major driving infraction with alcohol over a year and 4 months ago. Probly the most diminishing event of my life. Yet knowing that me being irrational and unresponisble deserved every second.

And yet after that I didn't give up drinking. I took it easy to say the least. But now I feel I need to stop all together.

Normally I'm a happy go lucky kind of guy who just mellows out and doesn't really think to much of any situation when drinking. But this last weekend, I just found out today actually. That I wanted to instigate a fight on the weekend. This point of the night I do not remember. It was at a slowpitch tournament dance. And I have not recollection at all. He must of went easy on me seeing as I was intoxicated beyond my dreams. All that hurt was my hand the following morning and I do know the guy somewhat personally. According to my parents, someone called them and I ended up losing consciousness for a couple of hours. Thus I woke up in bed at home.

Thus too come in drugs. I'm not an avid user, but once a couple of months and think that this may have affected my judgement on the weekend as well.

Now as I sit here typing this I feel I don't really have anyone to turn to for help. I still feel 100% regretfull and wish I could take back every moment from 72 hours ago. I have since phoned the person and apologized a million times over, but still no response. I hope that he accepts thus I can eliviate some of my worrying. But still which direction should I turn? My parents don't really seems to have any eleviating advice. Thus I think I'm going to try and phone ADAAC or a phycaitrist (SP?). Can anyone out there relate as to such or at least perhaps off some guidelines and to which direction you may think I should head. Thanks.