Confused

balloon86 · 04-23-2006, 06:25 PM

Hi all.. I'm pretty new to this site but i have a situation..

My b/f n i been together for 3 months now. We are really close and we really like each other.. On friday i went to the movies with my gals and they bought their b/f's but i didn't bring mine, cause i wanted to have some 'gal time' which i haven't had for a while. BUt Over the last few weeks i've been job hunting and i had atleast 3 interviews in the last 2 weeks which are pretty nerve racking. So i was a bit stressed, and haven't had much sleep in the last few days leading to the interviews, so i was tired.

We went back to my b/f's house( he shares house with my friend b/f) and had a few drinks there, but he wasn't there, 2 1/2hrs later he came home, with his best mate (who's a chick) and was drunk. I was a bit chessed off cause he said he would be home way b4 the movie finished. I was slightly drunk and i ignored him the whole night, i didn't mean to but it just happened. Plus he had some things on his chest as well so he wanted to have fun and danced with his mate.

I became emotional, very emotional, and i got all teary, (which i don't do at all)and just walked outside and talked to my friend. I guess i just had alot of stuff on my plate that i wasn't aware of, and normally it's very hard for my friends to pin point me stressed. i didn't know that i had these problems bottled up either.

ANYWAY... the point i'm trying to say is, I feel like i have to compete with my b/f to get attention from him, when he's around his chick mate. I never knew i felt like this till friday night. it never occured to me. But i don't want him to stop seeing her cause they are friends and i don't want to get in the way. I do feel intimidated when she's around, but i don't try and show it.. I do that very well. And i don't like feeling like this, i want to be able to get to know her and try n hold a conversation with her. (which isn't happeneing)

Sorry this is long.. i just didn't know how to explain it without any background knowledge to the situation..

TheLoveDoctor · 04-23-2006, 10:03 PM

Well if you truly feel intimidated by this girl than your intuition is telling you something is up. You really need to talk to him and let him understand how you feel. Of course, don't do this in attacking manner. If he becomes super defensive, than he is probably up to something. He should be the type of person that would say "Honey, if this is really bothering you I'll see what I can do to try and change the situation" - if he says something like "WOW! Why are you so jealous?! I cannot stand you when you're like this!" - then he isn't worth your time. Either way, you need to have a conversation with him about this.

balloon86 · 04-24-2006, 10:23 PM

Yeah we've talked, n he's said he's sorry that he put me in that position. He wasn't aware of it, it has never occured to him before. So we're ok for the time being. Thanks

TheLoveDoctor · 04-24-2006, 11:10 PM

No problem! I'm just glad things are looking positive

yay!

balloon86 · 04-25-2006, 04:06 PM

Me too, he felt so guilty in making me feel that way, he took me out for dinner. But i'm glad it's over n in the past now.

04-23-2006, 06:25 PM	#1 (permalink)
balloon86 Virgin Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Australia Posts: 4	Confused Hi all.. I'm pretty new to this site but i have a situation.. My b/f n i been together for 3 months now. We are really close and we really like each other.. On friday i went to the movies with my gals and they bought their b/f's but i didn't bring mine, cause i wanted to have some 'gal time' which i haven't had for a while. BUt Over the last few weeks i've been job hunting and i had atleast 3 interviews in the last 2 weeks which are pretty nerve racking. So i was a bit stressed, and haven't had much sleep in the last few days leading to the interviews, so i was tired. We went back to my b/f's house( he shares house with my friend b/f) and had a few drinks there, but he wasn't there, 2 1/2hrs later he came home, with his best mate (who's a chick) and was drunk. I was a bit chessed off cause he said he would be home way b4 the movie finished. I was slightly drunk and i ignored him the whole night, i didn't mean to but it just happened. Plus he had some things on his chest as well so he wanted to have fun and danced with his mate. I became emotional, very emotional, and i got all teary, (which i don't do at all)and just walked outside and talked to my friend. I guess i just had alot of stuff on my plate that i wasn't aware of, and normally it's very hard for my friends to pin point me stressed. i didn't know that i had these problems bottled up either. ANYWAY... the point i'm trying to say is, I feel like i have to compete with my b/f to get attention from him, when he's around his chick mate. I never knew i felt like this till friday night. it never occured to me. But i don't want him to stop seeing her cause they are friends and i don't want to get in the way. I do feel intimidated when she's around, but i don't try and show it.. I do that very well. And i don't like feeling like this, i want to be able to get to know her and try n hold a conversation with her. (which isn't happeneing) Sorry this is long.. i just didn't know how to explain it without any background knowledge to the situation..

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04-23-2006, 10:03 PM	#2 (permalink)
TheLoveDoctor Moderator Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: California Posts: 531	Well if you truly feel intimidated by this girl than your intuition is telling you something is up. You really need to talk to him and let him understand how you feel. Of course, don't do this in attacking manner. If he becomes super defensive, than he is probably up to something. He should be the type of person that would say "Honey, if this is really bothering you I'll see what I can do to try and change the situation" - if he says something like "WOW! Why are you so jealous?! I cannot stand you when you're like this!" - then he isn't worth your time. Either way, you need to have a conversation with him about this.

04-24-2006, 10:23 PM	#3 (permalink)
balloon86 Virgin Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Australia Posts: 4	Yeah we've talked, n he's said he's sorry that he put me in that position. He wasn't aware of it, it has never occured to him before. So we're ok for the time being. Thanks

04-25-2006, 04:06 PM	#5 (permalink)
balloon86 Virgin Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Australia Posts: 4	Me too, he felt so guilty in making me feel that way, he took me out for dinner. But i'm glad it's over n in the past now.

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