I don't know what to do...

[clouds]

My mom has finally found her new partner after she and dad had a divorced about a year ago. I'm staying with my mom and my new step dad. I am happy for my mom but there's one thing that troubled me, my new step-dad. Honestly I don't trust him and I don't know for what reason. I just don't feel comfortable with him. I don't like the way he stares at me. My mom didn't know about this and I don't have a plan to tell her because I don't wanna disappoint her. I feel like he's hiding something from us. I'm really worried what will happen to both of us with this man whom mom met just four months ago. I'm maybe wrong or might have prejudged him but that's what my intuition is telling me. I've tried to research online to anticipate certain things that may happen if all of my notions are true until I came across this Pre-Relationship Background Check article which I think the most appropriate thing to do to erase all my doubts about this man. I just don't have an idea how much this cost. Do you think i'm doing the right thing? Should I tell my mom everything that I feel? Please help I just don't know what to do.

[panamalove23]

I think that you should ask her if you can go out with her for a day just to hang out and talk. Go to the beach or something and sit around and talk about it. Don't raise your voice, and if she starts getting defensive just tell her that you're not saying that to get her mad or break them up. That you're just saying it because thats what you feel and see. It's reasonable to feel uncomfortable and unable to trust someone who just came in after a divorce. It's like that with everybody who gets a new step parent. If he's touching you sexually (or trying to) or looking at you in a sexual way, or talking to you in a sexual way you should tell your mom and contact the police. The last thing you want is to be a victim of sexual harassment from a parent's partner and then when you try to tell them they wont believe you because they will say that you're just "trying to break them up because you've never liked them. you're selfish, and only think about yourself. and dont see that she loves him and is happy for him"

[Froldt]

clouds, I'd have to agree with everything that panamalove23 says. You should talk to your mom about this one-on-one. Make sure she knows you are not trying to cause problems, but you have your concerns because -what you said above-.

I don't know about doing a background check, that might be going a bit far. I would use that as a final resort. Only if you talking with your mom and some time doesn't make you feel more at ease.

If you do feel uncomfortable in a sexual way, definitely tell your mom and contact the police.

[MHJ]

Hey clouds. Its been about a year since you described your suspicions about your step day. I guess I'm too nosy - but was wondering it you could update us. Is he still with your mum? Did he turn our bad? I'm just interested...