Bad relationship with my mom

[HighlyCaffeinated]

My mom and dad got together in college. They were a stormy pair. This was the 70s and drugs and alcohol and sexual experimentation was popular on the college front. Not so much has changed I guess. Anyway, so they were partyers and they were enjoying themselves. One thing leads to another, my mom got pregnant. She wanted to have an abortion, dad said no. Viola! here I am. Ok fast forward through the good times, my dad died when I was little in an alcohol related accident. My mom goes into full on alcoholism. Fast forward again, I am an adult now. I have my own family, I own my house outright in my own name, I am self sufficient. I ran away from home as soon as I could. Now my mom is older and she wants to come live with me. I can't get along with her. She is still drinking, and I don't want to be around her at all. She doesn't want to stop so she doesn't want to get counseling. WE have never gotten along because she always blamed me for ruining her life because she droppped out of college to have me, etc. She conveniently forgot that she was a drunk by that time and couldn't even hold a job down. She also refuses to admit that she brutally abused me until the day I ran away. So therefore I cannot forgive her, and don't want to deal with her. I am totally scarred by her. To this day my heart pounds and I break out into a cold sweat when I hear keys jingling outside a door at night because it reminds me of her coming home drunk. So now she has liver problems and I am not sure how to feel. One of her best friends recently died of cirrhosis of the liver from drinking. I am afraid that is what is going to happen to her. I am stressed out.

[meltdown71835]

I'm not really sure what to say. It seems as though it is her fault for the trauma she caused for you, but you can't deny that she is still family. I guess I would recommend you talking to her in a calm matter about the situation, then if you do accept her into the family, then go to counsoling because I don't really think anyone else but a professional would know how to mend a broken family back together.

[Pandaroo]

You've had a hard life, and i hope it turns out for you, keep on trucking.

[HighlyCaffeinated]

Originally Posted by meltdown71835

I'm not really sure what to say. It seems as though it is her fault for the trauma she caused for you, but you can't deny that she is still family. I guess I would recommend you talking to her in a calm matter about the situation, then if you do accept her into the family, then go to counsoling because I don't really think anyone else but a professional would know how to mend a broken family back together.

Yeah. That is the problem, that I feel obligated to help her and all that because she is family, even though I can't stand her. I would rather just forget she ever existed, but I try to maintain relations because I think it is the "right" thing to do. I have talked with her about counseling before, but she won't go. I don't even think she realizes the amount of animosity that I have for her. I don't know. I love her because she is my mom, and I hate her for the kind of person she is. It's tough to deal with.

[HighlyCaffeinated]

Originally Posted by Pandaroo

You've had a hard life, and i hope it turns out for you, keep on trucking.

Thanks. I am sure it will work out. It just sucks having to deal with it right now.