What Happened?

[Point Given]

I had been crushing on this girl for a while back last Feb. I had gotten to know her better ever since I had broken up with one of her friends. This crushing turned mutual. We were both a little awkward about it because I had gone out with one her friends but it seemed alright. We'd wait for each other outside of classes and stuff. In retrospect it seems kind of cute and innocent. I never tried anything with her besides some kissing and when summer rolled around I hoped it could get a little more passionate. During the summer I volunteered at a camp for inner city kids. I'd call her a few times a week and she seemed proud of me and even offered to volunteer as well to be with me. Then about a week before my month shift was off, she went on vacation. When she came back(the same day I came back) she called me and said she gotten another boyfriend. I was frankly crushed and disillusioned. I've gotten over it since it happened in August but I was recently having a nostalgic period and this came back. I wonder what went wrong. She says it was because I wasn't around and she'd moved on. I sometimes wonder whether she played me the entire time while I was at camp and that she was messing around while offereing to see me.

No one may read this but it feels good to get it off my chest

[tidalecko]

I'm glad you were able to get that off your chest that always helps.

I think that you were moving too slowly for her. Don't worry about this too much, as perhaps she just wasn't the right girl for you. Just assume that you're in her position, and you meet this really nice guy (you). You like to hang out with him and laugh at his jokes, but you don't think he's interested in a real relationship, because he never mentioned it to you and he never "laid the moves on you" so to speak.

If that sounds like the situation that happened (which I'm willing to bet that it is, I've been in your shoes before), then you would do good to just move on, and use this as a learning experience. Girls like guys who respect them, but if you don't show some level of sexual interest, they will get bored. You will get stuck in the friend zone, and it's very hard (if at all possible) to get out of the friend zone.

[DickStivers]

It could be that the month apart from you is what did it, and not anything that you did wrong. Sometimes when girls are young, and not very mature yet, they have a hard time being alone. If someone else gives them attention, they are drawn to it like a moth to a flame.

Try not to beat yourself up over it, though. She was probably just lonely, and when the opportunity presented itself, she took it. Also, young people now-a-days are not very skilled in monagamy. This is a trait that comes when you have developed serious feeling for another, and usually doesn't occur until you're older.

[Rusty]

Her feelings did not stand the test of separation, and a short one. She must be one of those girls who *have to* have a boyfriend, it's a matter of status, among other things. Guys do this as well. So if the one you are with is not around, he / she has to be replaced. It is common these days, unfortunately.

[jigyasa]

I don't intend to trivialize the pain but things like these tend to happen. Many people, especially guys actually, tend to have this tendency-out of sight, out of mind. So don't fret. It does not have much to do with you.

[sarah]

Originally Posted by jigyasa

I don't intend to trivialize the pain but things like these tend to happen. Many people, especially guys actually, tend to have this tendency-out of sight, out of mind. So don't fret. It does not have much to do with you.

Yes they very much do that is why even if you are separated from your love you stay in their mind in little ways if you can

[20something]

Yes, I think ts probably better that id didn't work out, although it is hard now. Life presents all kinds fo challanges, if she can't handle a one month seperation, she probably wouldn't be a good long term partner anyway.

Best to move on...

Originally Posted by Rusty

Her feelings did not stand the test of separation, and a short one. She must be one of those girls who *have to* have a boyfriend, it's a matter of status, among other things. Guys do this as well. So if the one you are with is not around, he / she has to be replaced. It is common these days, unfortunately.