no sex after birth of child

[ukneek1178]

ok i need some help my wife we've been married for 4 yrs and together for 6 and since our sons birth she has told me that she has no feeling to have sex,and everytime we fight she says that we should divorce and end the whole thing, i dont have a problem with that b/c i dont have any felings toward anymore.its just that our son is the world to me and we have this really big bond wich makes it hard for me. so PLEASE HELP MEEEEEEEEE

[Ðanisty]

How long ago did she have the baby?

[teh drunk]

If she had the child very recently, it's possible she's having some postpartum depression.

Is she depressed? Is she withdrawn from other friends and family? Does she cry for no reason? Does she have feelings of worthlessness? Does she sleep too much or too little? Has she started eating a lot more or a lot less?

That's where I would start. I'd find out if it's depression, a treatable medical condition.
If that's not what's going on, look for the evidence of her affair. Women generally are faithful to the men that they're with. If she's not having sex with you, it's likely because she doesn't want to disrespect her lover (who is not you).

[ukneek1178]

our son is 20 months and she doent have p.p. depression. i just dont know what her problem is,but i work at a car dealership and i meet a lot of girls. and yes i am a flirt. i work long hours and she doesnt seem to understand that when im not home when i say i am going ot be that she always bitches and is in a pissed off mood.

[DaVinci]

Time that is al she needs.. Keep talking and give her respect.... Talk that you have some needs and that you have a problem with it.... Having a baby is not normal... It's very intens.... Think about that... Watch the girls at work jack off at home but never let your girl down.... Be good to here.. Than she will be good to you.....

And teh drunk, You need a lot more for a postpartum depression......

[Ðanisty]

Originally Posted by teh drunk

If she had the child very recently, it's possible she's having some postpartum depression.

Is she depressed? Is she withdrawn from other friends and family? Does she cry for no reason? Does she have feelings of worthlessness? Does she sleep too much or too little? Has she started eating a lot more or a lot less?

That's where I would start. I'd find out if it's depression, a treatable medical condition.
If that's not what's going on, look for the evidence of her affair. Women generally are faithful to the men that they're with. If she's not having sex with you, it's likely because she doesn't want to disrespect her lover (who is not you).

Why do you want to turn everyone into a cheater? Everytime someone has a problem, that's what you suggest.

[teh drunk]

I'm suggesting WAAAAAAAAAAY more than cheating.
A weekend fling is easy enough to overlook. I'm saying she's out of love with her husband and in love with someone else.

She's refusing sex and saying she wants a divorce. How rosey are those glasses you're wearing?

[April]

Originally Posted by teh drunk

I'm suggesting WAAAAAAAAAAY more than cheating.
A weekend fling is easy enough to overlook. I'm saying she's out of love with her husband and in love with someone else.

She's refusing sex and saying she wants a divorce. How rosey are those glasses you're wearing?

Just because she is suggesting a divorce does not make it safe to assume she is cheating. People contemplate divorce for MANY other reasons other than cheating. Seeing as you are not part of this particular relationship, don't know all the facts and are only hearing one side of the story I think it's bad judgement to imply that there's any cheating going on on her part. The woman just had a baby that in itself is a HUGE life changing experience. Furthermore, it was him who said he didn't mind the idea of divorce because he doesn't have the same feelings for her anymore, not her.

[pinkopal1]

What about when the children are four and seven and she has only had sex with her husband six times in the past three years; twice each year???

I know someone who has this exact situation. She is late thirties. She has only had sex with her husband six times in the past three or four years. She is not interested. I think she is cheating and, like mentioned in an earlier post, is extremely loyal to her lover. Her husband thinks this is because she had children "late in life" (mid-thirties).

[TheLoveDoctor]

I agree with the ladies that disinterest in sex with your partner does *not* necessarily indicating that she is cheated. Obviously there is often a correlation of sexual interest in your partner if you are cheating, but it not having sex with your spouse is not an effect of having an affair.