Ceremony Indecision

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I have recently been discussing marriage, and whenever the topic of the ceremony comes up, we get into huge arguments about it. He's Catholic and comes from a large Catholic family. I, on the other hand, am Agnostic and come from a split-religion family; my mom's side is mostly Athiest/Agnostic, while my dad's side is non-denomination Christian. My boyfriend wants to have my whole family drive to his hometown 4 hours away to have a Catholic ceremony in the Catholic church nearly all of his family has been married in. I however, am not comfortable being in a Catholic church, let alone having my wedding in one, and going through that whole Catholic ceremony. I would like to have it in a non-denomination church with a pastor, but leave the religion part out of it. My reason? While I don't believe in God or anything related, I don't believe in lying or putting up a front,. especially if it were in front of so many people on such an important day. Is there any middle ground to be found? Any way to compromise on this?

[TheLoveDoctor]

When spouses are of different religious viewpoints problems are almost sure to arise; this may be the first of many.

I'm not sure why a pastor would make you feel much more comfortable than a priest. The ritual is still very similar (do you take ___ ... you may kiss the bride). You will have to recite your vows, but you'd do that either way. Of course there will be prayers but it is being recited by the congregation, nothing you have to do specifically, if anything take the people praying for you as a sign of good faith. . . But I do know that Catholic marriages require that you see the priest of the parish several months before the ceremony for training. I'd say try it out - at least for your husband's sake - and let him know how you feel about it after you try out one training session.

[Ðanisty]

My sister-in-law is getting married this coming spring. She's Catholic and her fiance is Methodist. I don't know the details, but her priest said that she didn't have to do that long counseling stuff. If you want, I can try to find out why.

What you really need to find out is if this difference of religion is going to be a problem down the road.

[pinkopal1]

I would seek pre-marital counseling and definitely the differences in religion/non-religion. What if you have children? How will they be raised? Yes, the Catholic church requires that "pre-marital" counseling with the Priest. It is short, but very in depth/thorough. Most couples facing marriage should go through this anyway. I would at least visit with his Priest and/or a non-denominational Pastor.