No Love

[FC_Bitches]

Pretty much I've been dating the same girl now for 10 months. It's my first long serious relation ship. We're not married, but pretty much spend every day together. She's still in high school, I'm in college..we're both 18. In a previous arguement awhile ago she explained to me how her parents love her, but never really hugged her or showed any physical love like most parents do. (Hug goodbye, etc..) so that was why she never liked being held, hugged, touched, etc and still doesn't.

In fact even today she still doesn't really like being hugged and stuff..I won her over and she said she loved me after I spent a week caring for her (she got a really bad case of the flu) and pretty much every step along the relationship is really hard for me. One of her best friends even said I picked a really difficult girl for a first love...anyways I'm pretty much a romantic guy, I've brought her flowers even though she doesn't care for them, I always try and think of ways to suprise her even though I am a failure at keeping things a secret from her, I'm always trying to think of new and exciting dates, the works. Now, we've taken everything really slow due to me not knowing much about relationships and her being really unromantic.

Everyone says I'm whipped and I'm not going to deny it, but I'm currently working on that. (Like not making the move to hold her hand, or not cuddling up to her when watching a movie in order to make her try and come to me for once) It has kind of worked so far, but nothing amazing. We're both virigins and this is the longest relationship either of us has had by far. So far I've gone as far as fingering her three times and the first time she liked it, second I somewhat messed up since my nails were a bit long >.> and the third time went well too. I have to make all the moves to engage this activity as well...we have never really made out until we say goodbye and she never really wants to kiss me. Even now just a peck goodbye and I'm on my way.

Anyways she never wants to do ANYTHING like kiss and fingering and so on. We both have school and work so dating is rare, but when we do it's usually going to the bay area or sac to go shopping and get some good food. So after school I usually head over to her house to hang out and play video games, walk her dog with her, movies, tv, basic stuff...that's pretty much the repetative cycle we live through day to day. Any ideas on wtf is up? She loves me, but doesn't really ever want to touch me or be close to me. It wasn't as much of an issue about 4+ months ago when I'd kiss her for no reason or hug her, but now I'll go to kiss her and she'll turn her head. That's probobaly my biggest thing I'm pissed off at right now. She never wants to kiss me and usually won't let me kiss her. Just a peck goodbye every night. Sorry for rambling on...just had to put the ideas somewhere rather than keep them stuck in my head.

[Rusty]

This is a difficult situation, and yes, her parents are to blame for not showing her physical affection when she was growing up. She is only 18, so she is not dead-set in her ways yet, she may learn to appreciate physical touch and enjoy kissing the guy she loves. It will take a lot of patience on your part though.

[tongyun]

You have a major challenge on your hands and I should know. I'm the male version of that story and my wife has gone through what you are going through. Are you really emotionally up for the challenge? After 21 years of marriage, there are still times when my wife touches my that I flinch. It's taken years of therapy and practice to get to the point where I'm a lot more touchy/kissy than I was when we were first married.