How Can I Get Her To Like Me/Talk To Me More??

Anonymous · 03-15-2006, 06:54 PM

Hey guys,

Well its been at least 2 months and i've been liking this girl for the longest time. I got her msn and i've been talking to her, usually over msn, but almost never in person, and it just kills me inside that im never gonna get her untill i can actually suck it up and go up and talk to her. Almost everyday whenever we walk across eachother in the halls shed never give me a wave or even look at me, she did once but thats when i pretty much had to scream her name out. What really makes me sad is that, whenever i try to talk to her she never shows any intrest in talkin to me. Like I would say something like hey whats up? and she usually answers with a nothing really, or how was your weekend.... boring, that sorta thing. And its literally impossible for me to talk to her.
I have said some pretty stupid things to her and talked to her about really really stupid stuff about my life and how im depressed, that was a bad thing to talk about when meeting a girl but i didnt know at the time, and plus I had nothing else to say cuz it was like 15 minutes of awkward silence. So i pretty much ****ed up my first impression with her. Ive just gotten to the point where im just so ****ing sick and tired of being so scared around her so ive talked to her a bit more i asked her to to go hang out sometime she said yes, but thing is I know its not gonna happen cuz shes always busy as she saids to me. Ive asked most of my friends and what they think my chances are of getting her and stuff and 80% of em saids that i have no chance in getting her and im just gonna get rejected, and im starting to feel like thats whats gonna happen. I just hate how im always the person who has to start the conversation, and still have her show no intrest in talking to me. Im almost at the point of giving up but i really really want this girl.

What do you think i should do?

Anonymous · 03-15-2006, 10:44 PM

Well, I can actually really relate to this from personal experience, both with myself with a girl and with my friend and a girl.

All in all I've come to this sort of conclusion: While talking online is the easiest, most comfortable way to talk to someone for the first time - most girls do NOT respond positively to guys who continually talk to them there.

I ironically got a girls phone number, but I was chicken to call her, so I MySpaced/IMed her first.

She is nothing but unresponsive, mostly saying the same things the girl you are talking to says. I don't know if this is genuine disinterest (which you very well have to be open to) or if just talking online "doesn't work" (would she have given me her # if she wasn't interested?)

My friend also "met" a girl on MySpace who now he is practically "in like" with and I have to sort of keep him on a level playing field in realizing that she may just not feel the same way he does (and it is sort of obvious to me that she doesn't like him "like that.")

I don't want to a negative nancy but maybe she doesn't have the same interest in you as you do for her...

But, it could just be your "medium of conversation." Some advice I'd say is to ignore her a little like she does to you, however she strikes me as the type (the same type I dealt with) who if I didn't initiate contact first, she wouldn't at all...

Usually there is a fine balance/game between caring and not caring, talking and not talking, attention and ignoring with girls, but with this type I'm not too sure what to do, except say you might want to try talking to her in person, on the phone etc.

Anonymous · 03-15-2006, 11:41 PM

That is what kills me, everyone gets who they want but its always me, I always get screwed over and thats why I ****ing hate myself. I don't know what ****ing game she is playing but when I asked her out to go hang out she saids something about her being really busy and how her schedule is unpredictable, or did she just say yes so she can make me feel good about myself.

Anonymous · 03-16-2006, 04:15 PM

Hellooo?!!

Can someone please help me, I can't really get a hold of her because it's Spring Break

What am I supposed to do?!

TheLoveDoctor · 03-16-2006, 05:50 PM

If it is spring break and you can't get a hold of her, perhaps you could try talking to her friends - assuming you share the same ones. What kind of person is she? Does she hang out with your friends? How did you start talking to her? Give us some more details and we might be able to give you some better advice

.

waavy · 03-16-2006, 05:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheLoveDoctor

If it is spring break and you can't get a hold of her, perhaps you could try talking to her friends - assuming you share the same ones. What kind of person is she? Does she hang out with your friends? How did you start talking to her? Give us some more details and we might be able to give you some better advice

.

She does hang out with her friends alot, she is the quiet sorta girl, and she only hangs out with a small lil group of friends she has. Shes a really quiet girl infront of most ppl but shes really outgoing and fun once you get to know her, fact is, were the Hi friends we havent gotten to the stage of good/great freinds yet ( read first post for more details on how i ****ed up on our conversations together) How i started talking to her was pretty much on msn. I got it off a friend of mine and we just started talking, but she still doesnt show any intrest in me ( which i think )

I did save some of our convos if you wanna look at em.

tidalecko · 03-17-2006, 01:19 AM

Placeholder for my advice. I'm formulating a reply

Alright, first thing: you are putting this girl up on a pedestal. This is a big mistake many younger guys make. I'm guessing that you are somewhat young (under 18) and I'm also guessing that you haven't had many romantic relationships before. It's natural to put her up on a pedestal - she becomes the holy grail, the apple of your eye. The thing is, that's not realistic. What's closer to the truth is this: the more you drool over her, the clumsier you will become around her. Also, the more she sees you drooling over her, the less impressed she will be.

Next point: You need to talk to other girls. This provides some important benefits:

Talking to other girls will boost your confidence
Talking to other girls will make you feel more comfortable around people in general, and girls in particular
Talking to other girls will help you realize that she is just a girl, and potentially your girl, when you realize how diverse girls are
Talking to other girls will make her jealous of you when she sees the rapport you build with them. She's drifting along apathetically, and suddenly, you're talking to every girl around her, and they all enjoy your company. She gets jealous. See where it goes from here?

Final point: If you make your move, the worst thing that could happen is you get rejected. You don't get the girl. But are you ever going to get the girl by not making a move? By being shy, and being scared of this and worried about that, are you getting the girl? Just make your move, and make it boldly. You offer her your company, and she may accept or decline. If she declines, politefully move on to the next girl. It's not like you were getting anywhere without making your move.

If you have any questions, I'll be here to help, and don't hesitate to PM me anything you want to discuss one-on-one.

Anonymous · 03-17-2006, 10:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tidalecko

Placeholder for my advice. I'm formulating a reply

Alright, first thing: you are putting this girl up on a pedestal. This is a big mistake many younger guys make. I'm guessing that you are somewhat young (under 18) and I'm also guessing that you haven't had many romantic relationships before. It's natural to put her up on a pedestal - she becomes the holy grail, the apple of your eye. The thing is, that's not realistic. What's closer to the truth is this: the more you drool over her, the clumsier you will become around her. Also, the more she sees you drooling over her, the less impressed she will be.

Next point: You need to talk to other girls. This provides some important benefits:

Talking to other girls will boost your confidence
Talking to other girls will make you feel more comfortable around people in general, and girls in particular
Talking to other girls will help you realize that she is just a girl, and potentially your girl, when you realize how diverse girls are
Talking to other girls will make her jealous of you when she sees the rapport you build with them. She's drifting along apathetically, and suddenly, you're talking to every girl around her, and they all enjoy your company. She gets jealous. See where it goes from here?

Final point: If you make your move, the worst thing that could happen is you get rejected. You don't get the girl. But are you ever going to get the girl by not making a move? By being shy, and being scared of this and worried about that, are you getting the girl? Just make your move, and make it boldly. You offer her your company, and she may accept or decline. If she declines, politefully move on to the next girl. It's not like you were getting anywhere without making your move.

If you have any questions, I'll be here to help, and don't hesitate to PM me anything you want to discuss one-on-one.

Thats the problem, lets say im having a great conversation with another girl, she still wouldn't be jealous because I know that she isn't intrested in me at all.

Anonymous · 03-22-2006, 06:54 PM

Well finally i had my first conversation with her at school in person...kinda stupid but whatever at least i gotta talk to her right??

I talked to her over MSN later that night and said so your busy saturday with field hockey right?? She replies to me saying yeah and I'm busy sunday too. So should I really be worried that she doesn't wanna hang out with me or what, because I've asked her a couple times and everytime she has said yes but we never really planned anything. So I mention Friday hoping for something good and she says that she has plans with friends but she tells me that we should do something together with a GROUP of friends, it just sucked hearing that but does this mean that she has no intrest in me anymore or what?

Should I give up at this point or keep trying?

TheLoveDoctor · 03-22-2006, 07:11 PM

I think it actually is a good sign. Some girls don't want to go out on a date with a person one-on-one and feel more comfortable in groups. If anything I'd be happy with the news that she wants to hang out, even if it is with a group. You will also have less pressure if you do go out with her in a group.

03-15-2006, 06:54 PM	#1 (permalink)
Anonymous In Like Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 91	How Can I Get Her To Like Me/Talk To Me More?? Hey guys, Well its been at least 2 months and i've been liking this girl for the longest time. I got her msn and i've been talking to her, usually over msn, but almost never in person, and it just kills me inside that im never gonna get her untill i can actually suck it up and go up and talk to her. Almost everyday whenever we walk across eachother in the halls shed never give me a wave or even look at me, she did once but thats when i pretty much had to scream her name out. What really makes me sad is that, whenever i try to talk to her she never shows any intrest in talkin to me. Like I would say something like hey whats up? and she usually answers with a nothing really, or how was your weekend.... boring, that sorta thing. And its literally impossible for me to talk to her. I have said some pretty stupid things to her and talked to her about really really stupid stuff about my life and how im depressed, that was a bad thing to talk about when meeting a girl but i didnt know at the time, and plus I had nothing else to say cuz it was like 15 minutes of awkward silence. So i pretty much **ed up my first impression with her. Ive just gotten to the point where im just so **ing sick and tired of being so scared around her so ive talked to her a bit more i asked her to to go hang out sometime she said yes, but thing is I know its not gonna happen cuz shes always busy as she saids to me. Ive asked most of my friends and what they think my chances are of getting her and stuff and 80% of em saids that i have no chance in getting her and im just gonna get rejected, and im starting to feel like thats whats gonna happen. I just hate how im always the person who has to start the conversation, and still have her show no intrest in talking to me. Im almost at the point of giving up but i really really want this girl. What do you think i should do?

03-17-2006, 01:19 AM	#7 (permalink)
tidalecko In Love Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: The right place. Posts: 246	Placeholder for my advice. I'm formulating a reply Alright, first thing: you are putting this girl up on a pedestal. This is a big mistake many younger guys make. I'm guessing that you are somewhat young (under 18) and I'm also guessing that you haven't had many romantic relationships before. It's natural to put her up on a pedestal - she becomes the holy grail, the apple of your eye. The thing is, that's not realistic. What's closer to the truth is this: the more you drool over her, the clumsier you will become around her. Also, the more she sees you drooling over her, the less impressed she will be. Next point: You need to talk to other girls. This provides some important benefits: Talking to other girls will boost your confidence Talking to other girls will make you feel more comfortable around people in general, and girls in particular Talking to other girls will help you realize that she is just a girl, and potentially your girl, when you realize how diverse girls are Talking to other girls will make her jealous of you when she sees the rapport you build with them. She's drifting along apathetically, and suddenly, you're talking to every girl around her, and they all enjoy your company. She gets jealous. See where it goes from here? Final point: If you make your move, the worst thing that could happen is you get rejected. You don't get the girl. But are you ever going to get the girl by not making a move? By being shy, and being scared of this and worried about that, are you getting the girl? Just make your move, and make it boldly. You offer her your company, and she may accept or decline. If she declines, politefully move on to the next girl. It's not like you were getting anywhere without making your move. If you have any questions, I'll be here to help, and don't hesitate to PM me anything you want to discuss one-on-one. Last edited by tidalecko; 03-17-2006 at 01:43 AM..

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03-15-2006, 10:44 PM	#2 (permalink)
Anonymous In Like Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 91	Well, I can actually really relate to this from personal experience, both with myself with a girl and with my friend and a girl. All in all I've come to this sort of conclusion: While talking online is the easiest, most comfortable way to talk to someone for the first time - most girls do NOT respond positively to guys who continually talk to them there. I ironically got a girls phone number, but I was chicken to call her, so I MySpaced/IMed her first. She is nothing but unresponsive, mostly saying the same things the girl you are talking to says. I don't know if this is genuine disinterest (which you very well have to be open to) or if just talking online "doesn't work" (would she have given me her # if she wasn't interested?) My friend also "met" a girl on MySpace who now he is practically "in like" with and I have to sort of keep him on a level playing field in realizing that she may just not feel the same way he does (and it is sort of obvious to me that she doesn't like him "like that.") I don't want to a negative nancy but maybe she doesn't have the same interest in you as you do for her... But, it could just be your "medium of conversation." Some advice I'd say is to ignore her a little like she does to you, however she strikes me as the type (the same type I dealt with) who if I didn't initiate contact first, she wouldn't at all... Usually there is a fine balance/game between caring and not caring, talking and not talking, attention and ignoring with girls, but with this type I'm not too sure what to do, except say you might want to try talking to her in person, on the phone etc.

03-15-2006, 11:41 PM	#3 (permalink)
Anonymous In Like Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 91	That is what kills me, everyone gets who they want but its always me, I always get screwed over and thats why I **ing hate myself. I don't know what **ing game she is playing but when I asked her out to go hang out she saids something about her being really busy and how her schedule is unpredictable, or did she just say yes so she can make me feel good about myself.

03-16-2006, 04:15 PM	#4 (permalink)
Anonymous In Like Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 91	Hellooo?!! Can someone please help me, I can't really get a hold of her because it's Spring Break What am I supposed to do?!

03-16-2006, 05:50 PM	#5 (permalink)
TheLoveDoctor Moderator Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: California Posts: 531	If it is spring break and you can't get a hold of her, perhaps you could try talking to her friends - assuming you share the same ones. What kind of person is she? Does she hang out with your friends? How did you start talking to her? Give us some more details and we might be able to give you some better advice .

03-22-2006, 06:54 PM	#9 (permalink)
Anonymous In Like Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 91	Well finally i had my first conversation with her at school in person...kinda stupid but whatever at least i gotta talk to her right?? I talked to her over MSN later that night and said so your busy saturday with field hockey right?? She replies to me saying yeah and I'm busy sunday too. So should I really be worried that she doesn't wanna hang out with me or what, because I've asked her a couple times and everytime she has said yes but we never really planned anything. So I mention Friday hoping for something good and she says that she has plans with friends but she tells me that we should do something together with a GROUP of friends, it just sucked hearing that but does this mean that she has no intrest in me anymore or what? Should I give up at this point or keep trying?

03-22-2006, 07:11 PM	#10 (permalink)
TheLoveDoctor Moderator Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: California Posts: 531	I think it actually is a good sign. Some girls don't want to go out on a date with a person one-on-one and feel more comfortable in groups. If anything I'd be happy with the news that she wants to hang out, even if it is with a group. You will also have less pressure if you do go out with her in a group.

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