A Common Problem?

pinkgerber · 06-26-2006, 10:39 AM

hello,

i recently started seeing this guy great guy. and unfortuantly their is a problem in our just fresh sex life he wants oral i personaly dont like it at all i want to please him but i also dont want to discomfort myself just to please him i have in mind that its stupid just to please the guy but at the same time i know i need to please my him, he dosent mind giving oral to me in fact i beleive he likes it, i try to prevent him from him giving me oral dont get me wrong i like but i feel like if he dosent do it he wont throw it in my face that he does and i dont give him oral i dont know what to do. i cant help it i have tried it but no i just dont enjoy it and plus i just started seeing this guy and i feel like i need more time to really want to give him oral sex i just wont suck on anyones you know. besides that problem i try to talk to him about it he gets angry and dosent seem to understand.

should i just give him oral sex? or not? even if it discomforts me? and to add i really dont know how to give a good blow?

Kayla Bear · 06-27-2006, 10:28 AM

I have the same problem... I'd like to give it to my bf cause I know he likes it and cause I like to pleasure him, but something about it is just really gross, and I really dont want to, so I end up doing it only about once every other month. If for some reason, I really want to, and I'm into it, I'll do it and I'd say I'm pretty good at it. Most of the time I'm not though, so we came up with this thing, "mouth-****ing", to where I lay on the floor and he's above me and, ya know, just sticks it in and does whatever. It's like 69, but we're facing the same way, and I don't get anything out of it. lol, actually, I don't know that this will help you much, since it really is pretty much the same thing, but I suppose it could help someone.

panamalove23 · 06-30-2006, 12:08 AM

Ok, I'm a guy... First thing is that if he cares about what you want and like, then he shouldn't pressure you into it, and he should respect your opinion about it. That's one of the first things I told my girlfriend. I told her that if she has anything that she doesn't like, to tell me and she wont have to do it. She on the other hand has no problem giving oral, and I dont either. However, since you dont like it, I suggest that you do not do it. Don't try to make someone happy until you're happy with yourself. So if you're happy with yourself by not doing it, then you can make him happy by doing something else other than oral.

pinkgerber · 06-30-2006, 10:24 AM

yes thank you i beleive that to but the thing is that i cant talk to him really without hurting him and plus we have not been that long together he has low self esteem about himself and that noone can really love him he gives me that guilt i am just confused and a bit hurt

panamalove23 · 06-30-2006, 08:58 PM

Do not fall for the guilt trip. Trust me, I'm a guy, and I know all about that. I however don't have to use that to satisfy myself like a lot of other guys do. To be totally honest with you, if he is making you sad, and putting you in guilt trips and if you are unable of talking to him about anything without hurting him, then you shouldn't be with him. If you stay with him, all it will cause is you making decisions you are not comfortable with, but are willing to do just to keep him happy. It will lead you to further unhappiness, and more problems and stress to deal with. If he is not able to sit down and talk it through with you, then he is obviously not a mature person, and is probably just a little horny bastard who likes taking girls on guilt trips. NEVER do ANYTHING that you are not comfortable with. However, I can only tell you these things, it depends on you whether you will take it or not.

Ðanisty · 07-01-2006, 09:51 AM

I'd also like to say that if oral sex is that important to him (no fault there) and you do not want to do it (no fault there either), then you probably just aren't compatible in the first place and you'd both be happier with other people. It sounds to me like he's the kind of guy that really likes oral sex, both giving and receiving. This will probably only continue to make you uncomfortable (and probably make him uncomfortable too).

pinkgerber · 07-10-2006, 10:21 PM

yes, i think it will just cause problems between us and he should find someone that will make him happy in all ways he just keeps holding the whole oral thing against me and it hurts and i dont think i need that it just sucks cause i really like this guy and i have feelings for him the first guy i ever had feelings for in a year and a half oh well my only question is who's next on my list? LOL =)

garrettchapple · 07-31-2006, 02:41 PM

You can always just suck at doing it

He'll stop asking pretty quickly =D

RockerGuy · 11-02-2006, 08:52 PM

Just get really really drunk before hand...JUST KIDDING. The truth is, you should tell him EXACTLY what you stated in your thread. It seems to be a difficult thing for people to do, but communication is key in any relationship. If he doesn't know you don't like, then he will keep trying to get you to do it.

Maybe he doens't mind, you need to find out.

TheLoveDoctor · 11-04-2006, 03:24 AM

The only statement that had me a little skeptical was "I just won't suck on anyone" yet, if he is "just anyone" why are you letting him perform oral on you? I'm not saying to do anything your uncomfortable with, but is he someone or just anyone?

06-26-2006, 10:39 AM	#1 (permalink)
pinkgerber Virgin Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Los Angeles,CA Posts: 17	A Common Problem? hello, i recently started seeing this guy great guy. and unfortuantly their is a problem in our just fresh sex life he wants oral i personaly dont like it at all i want to please him but i also dont want to discomfort myself just to please him i have in mind that its stupid just to please the guy but at the same time i know i need to please my him, he dosent mind giving oral to me in fact i beleive he likes it, i try to prevent him from him giving me oral dont get me wrong i like but i feel like if he dosent do it he wont throw it in my face that he does and i dont give him oral i dont know what to do. i cant help it i have tried it but no i just dont enjoy it and plus i just started seeing this guy and i feel like i need more time to really want to give him oral sex i just wont suck on anyones you know. besides that problem i try to talk to him about it he gets angry and dosent seem to understand. should i just give him oral sex? or not? even if it discomforts me? and to add i really dont know how to give a good blow?

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06-27-2006, 10:28 AM	#2 (permalink)
Kayla Bear In Love Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 102	I have the same problem... I'd like to give it to my bf cause I know he likes it and cause I like to pleasure him, but something about it is just really gross, and I really dont want to, so I end up doing it only about once every other month. If for some reason, I really want to, and I'm into it, I'll do it and I'd say I'm pretty good at it. Most of the time I'm not though, so we came up with this thing, "mouth-****ing", to where I lay on the floor and he's above me and, ya know, just sticks it in and does whatever. It's like 69, but we're facing the same way, and I don't get anything out of it. lol, actually, I don't know that this will help you much, since it really is pretty much the same thing, but I suppose it could help someone.

06-30-2006, 12:08 AM	#3 (permalink)
panamalove23 In Like Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 56	Ok, I'm a guy... First thing is that if he cares about what you want and like, then he shouldn't pressure you into it, and he should respect your opinion about it. That's one of the first things I told my girlfriend. I told her that if she has anything that she doesn't like, to tell me and she wont have to do it. She on the other hand has no problem giving oral, and I dont either. However, since you dont like it, I suggest that you do not do it. Don't try to make someone happy until you're happy with yourself. So if you're happy with yourself by not doing it, then you can make him happy by doing something else other than oral.

06-30-2006, 10:24 AM	#4 (permalink)
pinkgerber Virgin Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Los Angeles,CA Posts: 17	yes thank you i beleive that to but the thing is that i cant talk to him really without hurting him and plus we have not been that long together he has low self esteem about himself and that noone can really love him he gives me that guilt i am just confused and a bit hurt

06-30-2006, 08:58 PM	#5 (permalink)
panamalove23 In Like Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 56	Do not fall for the guilt trip. Trust me, I'm a guy, and I know all about that. I however don't have to use that to satisfy myself like a lot of other guys do. To be totally honest with you, if he is making you sad, and putting you in guilt trips and if you are unable of talking to him about anything without hurting him, then you shouldn't be with him. If you stay with him, all it will cause is you making decisions you are not comfortable with, but are willing to do just to keep him happy. It will lead you to further unhappiness, and more problems and stress to deal with. If he is not able to sit down and talk it through with you, then he is obviously not a mature person, and is probably just a little horny bastard who likes taking girls on guilt trips. NEVER do ANYTHING that you are not comfortable with. However, I can only tell you these things, it depends on you whether you will take it or not.

07-01-2006, 09:51 AM	#6 (permalink)
Ðanisty In Love Join Date: Nov 1999 Location: Savannah, GA Posts: 148	I'd also like to say that if oral sex is that important to him (no fault there) and you do not want to do it (no fault there either), then you probably just aren't compatible in the first place and you'd both be happier with other people. It sounds to me like he's the kind of guy that really likes oral sex, both giving and receiving. This will probably only continue to make you uncomfortable (and probably make him uncomfortable too).

07-10-2006, 10:21 PM	#7 (permalink)
pinkgerber Virgin Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Los Angeles,CA Posts: 17	yes, i think it will just cause problems between us and he should find someone that will make him happy in all ways he just keeps holding the whole oral thing against me and it hurts and i dont think i need that it just sucks cause i really like this guy and i have feelings for him the first guy i ever had feelings for in a year and a half oh well my only question is who's next on my list? LOL =)

07-31-2006, 02:41 PM	#8 (permalink)
garrettchapple Virgin Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: California Posts: 21	You can always just suck at doing it He'll stop asking pretty quickly =D

11-02-2006, 08:52 PM	#9 (permalink)
RockerGuy In Like Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: New Jersey Posts: 51	Just get really really drunk before hand...JUST KIDDING. The truth is, you should tell him EXACTLY what you stated in your thread. It seems to be a difficult thing for people to do, but communication is key in any relationship. If he doesn't know you don't like, then he will keep trying to get you to do it. Maybe he doens't mind, you need to find out.

11-04-2006, 03:24 AM	#10 (permalink)
TheLoveDoctor Moderator Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: California Posts: 531	The only statement that had me a little skeptical was "I just won't suck on anyone" yet, if he is "just anyone" why are you letting him perform oral on you? I'm not saying to do anything your uncomfortable with, but is he someone or just anyone?

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A Common Problem?

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