Can passionate sex lose its spark?

[ladyvibez]

Hi everyone i posted a note on disliked kisses & this is sort of along the same lines!...

well basically i have a very loving relationship with my boyfriend but also with alot of history. sometimes recently, i havent really been enjoying myself during sex as i used to. its usually always fantastic but recently ive been finding myself fantasizing about other men during!! this worries me & am not sure if my feelins towards him are starting to change or if the sex has lost its spark? im usually the one who takes control & am wondering if this may be part of the problem?!

i havent been able to discuss this comfortably with him as yet & would really appreciate some other opinions & suggestions!!!

thanks

[panamalove23]

Well, if you're having sex with him and fantasizing about other men then you have a problem. You have to catch yourself doing it and think of HIM & YOU. Maybe he is doing the same thing over and over again, and it's getting "old." Tell him things you want him to do. If you're not use to the "talking during sex" then you should try it. Tell him what you want him to do to you, and what other new things. Be wild. Most of the time your problem occurs just because you're use to the same routine. Maybe he should switch it up a bit. You should do the same thing too. You don't know whether he's having the same problem.

I suggest you do not talk to him about this. It will hurt your relationship. I also suggest that you do not openly talk about this to a friend of yours, because most likely it'll slip into a conversation, and it'll be even worse for him finding out that way than from you.

If THAT doesnt work, then you have to do some soul searching. You have to think about all the things you guys have gone through, and see if that "new person" that you're always thinking about would have stuck with you through those hard times.

If you have a lot of history, and hardly no problems, then you have a good partner.

[ladyvibez]

hi thanks very much for ur reply... i have tried to suggest new things & we have recently bought a few new things 2 spice it up so hopefully...! i must say though im more wilder that he is & i sometimes wonder if this scares him! we do hardly have any problems so you're right in saying that i have a good partner. i wouldnt give him up for the world i guess i jus need some extra stimulation! i'll take your advice & suggest new things. thanks again!

[panamalove23]

No problem! Now that you said that he's less wild than you, it explained a lot to me. Obviously there is an off balance on how you both see yourselves when it comes to sex. Tell him to explore and open himself up, passionate sex is good and needed in a relationship, but having hot wild sex every once in a while keeps things interesting!

Never break up with your partner because sex isn't great... that's a big mistake. You can always make sex better if it's being flaky. But finding a partner that is good to you and loyal is very hard to find, especially now-a-days. Communication is key in a relationship, even if what is having some problems is about sex.