In need of serious help.

HellSpawn33 · 08-01-2006, 06:56 PM

Okay, so I can get my girlfriend off pretty much any way that I want, except when I just use my hands. I've tried so many times, but every time I seem to fail. I keep hitting her spot, but then suddenly, I lose it. I try moving around, and eventually i hit it again, just to lose it again. Even when /I do get the spot and keep it, it just doesnt work. She tells me it won't make her cum and then I have to give up. She told me that she wants me to make her cum that way, and I want to. I just don't know what to do and I'm tired of letting her down.

Does anybody know what I can do???

TheLoveDoctor · 08-01-2006, 08:37 PM

Hmm, I'm trying to understand your problem here... Do you mean to say that you find her clitoris with your hand, but then you can't find it anymore once you touch it?

HellSpawn33 · 08-02-2006, 09:40 AM

Well, I can find her spot, and do it for a while. She'll tell me it feels good and I can tell it does. But then, she says the feelings gone, and I just lost it. I try doing different things, but it doesn't work anymore.

I hope that helps you understand better.

Ðanisty · 08-02-2006, 02:57 PM

Let me just say that while a clit seems pretty small, there are quite a few different spots. I have about 4 different spots that do it for me and sometimes you do have to switch around. Also, pay very close attention because you might be moving off of a great spot and not realizing it. When it comes to clits, think in terms of millimeters...no, I'm not even kidding. Make a mental note of each of the spots that tend to feel good to her and if you're losing her (I assume she'll let you know), move to another one of those spots and don't waste your time with spots that don't usually do anything for her. Make sure you aren't changing the angle that you're rubbing her clit. Another thing, if you're stroking her and she's liking it, make sure you hit the same range everytime you stroke...it can be really easy to stop moving down far enough each time or something. I hope that helps!

One more thing...if it takes roughly the same amount of time for her to lose the sensation everytime (for example, 5 minutes into it), then try picking up the pace and going a little faster when you approach that time.

garrettchapple · 08-02-2006, 04:48 PM

Danisty sounds like she hit the nail on the head and she knows what she's talking about

I would just recommend practice.. try what danisty has said and just practice.. You'll get it eventually.

Ðanisty · 08-02-2006, 06:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by garrettchapple

Danisty sounds like she hit the nail on the head and she knows what she's talking about

I would just recommend practice.. try what danisty has said and just practice.. You'll get it eventually.

I do actually. I have experience with myself and with another woman.

HellSpawn33 · 08-03-2006, 06:22 PM

Thanks a lot. She's coming over tomorrow night, and I'm going to try again. I guess I'll let you know what happens. Thank you, I really needed advice on that one. Lol.

panamalove23 · 08-04-2006, 07:58 AM

if you are arousing the clit, make sure you keep it at the same pace. you cant be going 'medium' for a while, then make a drastic change to slow. you have to keep a pattern. there are other spots.

i think the reason she keeps 'losing' it, is because both you and her are too worried and focused on the problem that she keeps losing it, and that you arent doing a good job. so in many ways, you are nervous when you begin. both of you have to be relaxed, and not worry. and you have to tell her that the more she keeps telling you to 'give up' the more nervous and uncomfortable it makes you feel. dont only focus on the clit, you have to stimulate other spots as well. if both of you stop worrying, and really get into it, then great things will happen.

Ðanisty · 08-04-2006, 02:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by panamalove23

if you are arousing the clit, make sure you keep it at the same pace. you cant be going 'medium' for a while, then make a drastic change to slow. you have to keep a pattern. there are other spots.

I agree, don't slow down unless she specifically tells you to.

Quote:

Originally Posted by panamalove23

i think the reason she keeps 'losing' it, is because both you and her are too worried and focused on the problem that she keeps losing it, and that you arent doing a good job. so in many ways, you are nervous when you begin. both of you have to be relaxed, and not worry. and you have to tell her that the more she keeps telling you to 'give up' the more nervous and uncomfortable it makes you feel. dont only focus on the clit, you have to stimulate other spots as well. if both of you stop worrying, and really get into it, then great things will happen.

Worry could be a huge factor here. Tell your girlfriend not to think about anything. Personally, if I'm aroused but for some reason not able to cum, I start thinking of things that are erotic to me and that usually does the trick. Also, if you are only fingering directly on the clit, that could be part of the problem. My favorite spot is just to the right side of my clit and my hubby will usually finger there until I'm about to cum and then stimulate the clit directly. My clit is usually too sensitive to start off right on it. Actually, he could get me off without moving directly to the clit when I'm about to cum, but it's much, much better when he does.

sexaholic042006 · 08-31-2006, 07:21 PM

i have to tell you - I am a woman and when i masturbate...and I can loose my exact spot sometimes too - especially when i get close to cumming..i use a small finger sized vibrator - and i hold it close to my clitoris ..there is a couple of areas (like stated above) that are around the clitoris.that will get me off..so i say USE a VIBRATOR - something small with lots of little "fingers" on it. www.slumberparties.com - that is where i got mine from...i know a girl who sells it too

- so it makes it easy to get! keep us posted on your updates!

08-01-2006, 06:56 PM	#1 (permalink)
HellSpawn33 Virgin Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 3	In need of serious help. Okay, so I can get my girlfriend off pretty much any way that I want, except when I just use my hands. I've tried so many times, but every time I seem to fail. I keep hitting her spot, but then suddenly, I lose it. I try moving around, and eventually i hit it again, just to lose it again. Even when /I do get the spot and keep it, it just doesnt work. She tells me it won't make her cum and then I have to give up. She told me that she wants me to make her cum that way, and I want to. I just don't know what to do and I'm tired of letting her down. Does anybody know what I can do???

08-02-2006, 02:57 PM	#4 (permalink)
Ðanisty In Love Join Date: Nov 1999 Location: Savannah, GA Posts: 148	Let me just say that while a clit seems pretty small, there are quite a few different spots. I have about 4 different spots that do it for me and sometimes you do have to switch around. Also, pay very close attention because you might be moving off of a great spot and not realizing it. When it comes to clits, think in terms of millimeters...no, I'm not even kidding. Make a mental note of each of the spots that tend to feel good to her and if you're losing her (I assume she'll let you know), move to another one of those spots and don't waste your time with spots that don't usually do anything for her. Make sure you aren't changing the angle that you're rubbing her clit. Another thing, if you're stroking her and she's liking it, make sure you hit the same range everytime you stroke...it can be really easy to stop moving down far enough each time or something. I hope that helps! One more thing...if it takes roughly the same amount of time for her to lose the sensation everytime (for example, 5 minutes into it), then try picking up the pace and going a little faster when you approach that time. Last edited by Ðanisty; 08-02-2006 at 06:10 PM.

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08-01-2006, 08:37 PM	#2 (permalink)
TheLoveDoctor Moderator Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: California Posts: 531	Hmm, I'm trying to understand your problem here... Do you mean to say that you find her clitoris with your hand, but then you can't find it anymore once you touch it?

08-02-2006, 09:40 AM	#3 (permalink)
HellSpawn33 Virgin Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 3	Well, I can find her spot, and do it for a while. She'll tell me it feels good and I can tell it does. But then, she says the feelings gone, and I just lost it. I try doing different things, but it doesn't work anymore. I hope that helps you understand better.

08-02-2006, 04:48 PM	#5 (permalink)
garrettchapple Virgin Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: California Posts: 21	Danisty sounds like she hit the nail on the head and she knows what she's talking about I would just recommend practice.. try what danisty has said and just practice.. You'll get it eventually.

08-03-2006, 06:22 PM	#7 (permalink)
HellSpawn33 Virgin Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 3	Thanks a lot. She's coming over tomorrow night, and I'm going to try again. I guess I'll let you know what happens. Thank you, I really needed advice on that one. Lol.

08-04-2006, 07:58 AM	#8 (permalink)
panamalove23 In Like Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 56	if you are arousing the clit, make sure you keep it at the same pace. you cant be going 'medium' for a while, then make a drastic change to slow. you have to keep a pattern. there are other spots. i think the reason she keeps 'losing' it, is because both you and her are too worried and focused on the problem that she keeps losing it, and that you arent doing a good job. so in many ways, you are nervous when you begin. both of you have to be relaxed, and not worry. and you have to tell her that the more she keeps telling you to 'give up' the more nervous and uncomfortable it makes you feel. dont only focus on the clit, you have to stimulate other spots as well. if both of you stop worrying, and really get into it, then great things will happen.

08-31-2006, 07:21 PM	#10 (permalink)
sexaholic042006 Virgin Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 5	i have to tell you - I am a woman and when i masturbate...and I can loose my exact spot sometimes too - especially when i get close to cumming..i use a small finger sized vibrator - and i hold it close to my clitoris ..there is a couple of areas (like stated above) that are around the clitoris.that will get me off..so i say USE a VIBRATOR - something small with lots of little "fingers" on it. www.slumberparties.com - that is where i got mine from...i know a girl who sells it too - so it makes it easy to get! keep us posted on your updates!

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