Important Questions to Ask a Couple Counselor

No marriage or relationship is perfect. All couples face a fair share of challenges. This is where couples counseling comes into play. It helps couples to resolve those issues, improve relationship communication/dynamics, and understand one another better. While there will always be ups and downs in relationships or marriages, too many low points are signs of trouble. A couple therapist may not tell couples whether their relationship will last, but they may help them to work through those issues through tried-and-tested techniques.

Why Seek a Couples Counseling

Like other types of counseling, couples therapy is unique for all couples. But generally, it can help couples learn a few things, like the following:

• Loyalty issues
• Mental health challenges
• Life transitions
• Your triggers
• Setting boundaries
• Resolving conflicts
• Planning for the future
• Processing trust issues

Questions to Ask

What couples counseling questions should you ask? Well, the kind of questions to ask depends on your unique issues. Here are some of the commonly asked couples counseling questions in Rye, NY, you can ask:

• Do We Really Require Therapy?

Some couples go to a couples therapy session feeling uncertain whether they have made a good decision and if they require this kind of intervention. Remember that you don’t need to have serious issues to go for a therapy session. Probably you want to feel loved, communicate better, or get help to deal with your lifestyle changes. Tell your counselor what brought you to counseling and ask whether they believe that you warrant a session. In many cases, couples benefit a lot from a counseling session, even when it is just for a shorter period of time so as to cope with the current issues.

• What Behavior Do You Think I Might Improve?

A therapy session is a perfect time to look at individual behaviors as well as determine how they impact your relationship. Ask what you may improve on so as to give your significant other a chance to make suggestions and be honest. Asking this question will also help to demonstrate openness to change and communication. Keep in mind that the importance of this question is to build a strong relationship, not to tear it down. Therefore, be attentive and receptive to feedback, try not to get upset, and ask clear questions. Your significant other will be taking part in it to support the union and make you happier. Remember, it is not all about pointing out flaws – rather it is about navigating or exploring different options for a healthier relationship.

• Which Therapy Approach Do You Use?

There are different models and styles of couples’ therapies, and not all of them will be suitable for you. Some approaches heavily focus on validating experiences of one another and processing emotions, while others concentrate on the practical behavior steps of changing interactions. In addition, some counselors can focus on trust-building and forgiveness work, while other therapists can incorporate humor as well as help you concentrate on the relationship’s positivity. So, asking these important questions can help to ensure you get a sense of what to anticipate from a couples’ therapist and whether they feel they are a perfect fit for you.

• Are You a Licensed Therapist?

Generally, counselors must be licensed by the country or state they work in. Or, they should have a supervisor whom they report to when they are in a licensure process. Every state differs based on what they need for the licensure process, but in general, a licensed counselor means that the expert has passed a few standards in that state. Normally, they have passed written exams, many hours working with several clients, and a master’s degree.

• What Often Happens During Counseling?

Counseling focuses on helping couples handle issues in their own relationships and improve their intimacy and communication. The procedure varies depending on the counselor’s approaches as well as the couples’ individual goals and needs. But mainly, it consists of the following:

• Solving problems and developing skills
• Identifying and assessing issues
• Initial consultation and introduction

Mostly, licensed therapists start with evaluation and introduction. During evaluation, a therapist will inquire about the history of your relationships and goals for the treatment. You, your partner, and a therapist will also investigate the issues that cause frustrations or conflicts in your relationship or marriage.

• Are You Part of a Renown and Professional Association?

While some clinical social workers, mental health therapists, psychiatrists, and psychologists are prepared in marital counseling, you might be more confident if a therapist has a license in family therapy and marriage, and is one of the members of a professional association. A good relationship therapist will have various licenses and enough experience to offer counseling sessions professionally.

• How Do You Often Address Individual Issues?

It is important to ensure your ideal therapist approaches your marriage or relationship from a more systematic approach. This means they must focus more on your marriage as well as its health. A good therapy must feel supportive and balanced, not focus on who can be ‘more right’ in conflicts. There is always something both partners can benefit from addressing. Even when you think your significant other bears 90% of the responsibility for all the issues you face in the relationship, your response to it can still be worth it to explore in couples therapy.

• How Will You Learn the Skills of Communicating?

Couples’ therapy or marriage counselor serve as a resource for couples who deal with challenges of communicating. Therapy can greatly improve skills of communicating by creating a safer space. Counseling often offers an impartial and secure setting where you and your significant other can communicate your problems and thoughts. In the space, you may communicate without any fear of getting judged. Another way is by identifying patterns of communicating. You and your significant other will get assistance from a counselor by learning communication styles and habits.

 

In conclusion, undergoing relationship therapy and choosing a good therapist for a wonderful session is not easy. This is why it is important to compile some of these questions so that you can work with a reliable counselor and have a good counseling session as a couple.