Relationships and More - View Single Post - What to do when she wants out for no reason

Ðanisty · 07-13-2006, 07:17 AM

Okay, I just read in another thread that you've been married for 4 years. When I think about the first 4 years of my marriage, I think about the glossy film wearing off, so to speak. By my 4th year in, I realized that marriage wasn't anything like I had thought it would be even though I had fairly level-headed ideas about marriage in the first place. I had to learn to stop thinking about my marriage like a relationship and start thinking about it like a business. It doesn't sound very romantic, but it works. You have to realize that your wife is a partner. She's not just the person you love. Firt of all, the two of your are inevitably dealing with money. When a business makes money, it's very important that the owners of the business are in agreement on how to spend that money or how to save it (if possible). Also, there are two people working in this business and it's important that both people feel adequately appreciated for what they bring to the table. When business partners have to argue about something, they don't drag up emotional crap from the past. That's just now how you run a business...you deal with what's going on right now and how to make it better in the future. Business partners look past their personal needs sometimes to do what's best for the business itself. Compromises are not optional...they will be needed. This is just an analogy of course. Marriage sometimes makes us feel too comfortable and we slip into lazy habits and take people for granted, etc. Marriage is work. You can play when you finish work. I've found that dealing with bills and problems right away and doing it without getting upset (even if I'm feeling upset), solves the problems quickly. Then we have time for the nice stuff and those pent-up, stressed-out feelings fade quickly. I know this probably sounds crazy. There's just more to marriage than a relationship.

It seems like you have at least 2 kids and they are probably pretty young. I would personally hold off on having another one right now. You've got to way until the situation is stable first. Just my 2 cents.

07-13-2006, 07:17 AM	#3 (permalink)
Ðanisty In Love Join Date: Nov 1999 Location: Savannah, GA Posts: 148	Okay, I just read in another thread that you've been married for 4 years. When I think about the first 4 years of my marriage, I think about the glossy film wearing off, so to speak. By my 4th year in, I realized that marriage wasn't anything like I had thought it would be even though I had fairly level-headed ideas about marriage in the first place. I had to learn to stop thinking about my marriage like a relationship and start thinking about it like a business. It doesn't sound very romantic, but it works. You have to realize that your wife is a partner. She's not just the person you love. Firt of all, the two of your are inevitably dealing with money. When a business makes money, it's very important that the owners of the business are in agreement on how to spend that money or how to save it (if possible). Also, there are two people working in this business and it's important that both people feel adequately appreciated for what they bring to the table. When business partners have to argue about something, they don't drag up emotional crap from the past. That's just now how you run a business...you deal with what's going on right now and how to make it better in the future. Business partners look past their personal needs sometimes to do what's best for the business itself. Compromises are not optional...they will be needed. This is just an analogy of course. Marriage sometimes makes us feel too comfortable and we slip into lazy habits and take people for granted, etc. Marriage is work. You can play when you finish work. I've found that dealing with bills and problems right away and doing it without getting upset (even if I'm feeling upset), solves the problems quickly. Then we have time for the nice stuff and those pent-up, stressed-out feelings fade quickly. I know this probably sounds crazy. There's just more to marriage than a relationship. It seems like you have at least 2 kids and they are probably pretty young. I would personally hold off on having another one right now. You've got to way until the situation is stable first. Just my 2 cents.