No alarm can magically signal the start of relationship problems. Usually, issues crawl up on a couple, affecting their lives in ways that seemingly have little to do with the relationship.
When you are in a relationship, red flags usually appear early that can signal the disaster, when not dealt with properly. For instance, most of the time, couples complain that the issues in their relationship didn’t surface suddenly but are the result of buried resentment that can rot for years. Sometimes, sweeping issues under the rug won’t help long. When you feel like the situation is out of control, consult with a specialist for individual counseling or marriage counseling in Croton, NY. It can help you resolve the grudges that are hidden deep inside your soul but, before that, it is essential to know what things can harm the bond or strength of your relationship. Below are some of the signs indicating that your relationship is headed for collapse:
Criticization:
Criticism can be destructive for a healthy relationship. It means putting your partner’s character or behavior down. Healthy couples must explain how they feel and should make direct requests rather than criticizing them. If you want to get freed of criticism in your relationship, practice beginning your comments with, “I feel” as it may sound polite, and then ask your partner for what you want directly.
Holding Disrespect:
Contempt is another form of disrespect. It includes calling their name, depreciation, sarcasm or any other communication meant to show disgust, disregard or hatred.
The issue is one of the single most sources of divorce. The couples think that appreciation and self-responsibility cannot truly endorse and empathize with another person. If you want to discard your relationship from dishonor, these mindsets and skills do much to fight off the second rider.
Defensive Behavior:
Defensiveness may sound rude as it occurs at the expense of understanding or validating the other person’s position. It eventually results in triggering the other person to also become defensive. Examples of defensiveness are making excuses for your behavior, changing the subject to what your partner did wrong, and justifying your behavior. Rather than being defensive, healthy couples try to see their partner’s statements as understandable and true according to their perspective.
Becoming a Stonewall:
Creating a stone wall is considered as walking away from the discussion or from the relationship for the sake of evading any dispute. It could occur with “the silent treatment,” in the form of walking away, leaving the house, refusing to talk, or nonsensical mutterings. The solution to “stonewalling” is self-awareness and self-control to indicate that you are too upset to speak constructively but would be willing to come back to the conversation after a given amount of cool-down time (20 minutes to a few hours). Thus, there is no need to avoid the topic or the partner, you are in a relationship with, as it can deteriorate things even more. In a relationship without stonewalling, problems and conversations are addressed rather than being swept under the rug or ignored.
During an argument, if you experience any of these signs as a habit of yours or your partner, the good news is, researchers have found couples can change these habits with guidance and practice. Couples counseling may be a helpful way to learn and practice alternative communication strategies if you notice any such signs. Thus, either choose individual counseling or marriage counseling in Croton, NY, or with your partner, it will be fruitful to you in many ways.