What you experience as a child is most likely to impact your married life in some way or another. However, if you self-explore more often, mending your love life isn’t an unapproachable milestone.
Does the fear of losing someone, drive you crazy? Do you always feel something fishy about your partner’s behavior? Perhaps, you might be suffering underneath and not letting out your emotions the way you must have. Or probably, something in your past is bothering you or tends to spoil your love life in the future. Maybe you understand that or maybe that thought never crossed your mind, but the severity of the fact can’t be ignored. As stated by most therapists, only a strong bond keeps us grounded and when that bond begins to stagger, we hardly feel confident and secure in ourselves and the world around us.
Hence, it may be time to start. Here are five ways in which your childhood or simply put, your past experiences and relationships with anyone don’t let you survive or manage your connection with your husband or wife.
You Have Strangling Trust Issues
Many people are raised under a neglected environment and innately, adopt a sense of insecurity as they grow up. They start internalizing, mistrusting others, and becoming protective of themselves in many different ways. You also must have experienced the same, if you had a rupturing relationship be it with your parents, friends, or someone special, in the past that is not letting you trust a word your partner says, no matter how true he or she is.
Reassurance is Your Way Out
During couples counseling therapy in Rye, NY, one thing that surely comes into light is your dire need for reassurance. This may emerge as a result of frequent reassurances given to you in the past, or entirely opposite of that. If you listen to your counselor, they will only ask you to start reassuring your own self instead of seeking the efforts from your partner because it’s your insecurity that is keeping you stuck in the dark, not your partner’s.
You Struggle with Intimacy
Maybe you felt dismissed or misunderstood a lot or maybe whatever you did as a child was never good enough. As a result, you fail to be present with your partner for an intimate connection because you keep protecting your authenticity, revealing which isn’t what you ever did comfortably. Another fact that compounds to it is your wrecking trust issues. No matter how many times your partner clears that he or she has your back, if you don’t trust them, you can’t connect with them sexually and emotionally.
You Experience Panic Attacks
Seriously, if that’s what you experience, you need immediate counseling and therapy for couples in Rye, NY. Panic attacks generally occur due to abandonments while growing up, not to mention, such heart-shattering experience has a lot to do with your current married life. As soon as, you get the feeling of your partner being pulled away from you, you start panicking and unfortunately, push them away even further, especially when they only needed some space in the first place.
You Shut Down During Conflicts
Some people aren’t taught how to cope with conflicts while growing up, which eventually makes shutting down their ultimate coping strategy during adulthood. They become subconsciously triggered by attacks, threats, rejection, and criticism and shut down to protect themselves. What happens is your partner assumes that you don’t care about them and therefore, you are getting away with all the fights instead of confronting the issue with them.