1. Communication (10 Questions)

Do you feel truly heard when we talk about important issues?
How do I respond when you share your feelings—do you feel validated or dismissed?
Are there topics you avoid bringing up because you fear my reaction?
What communication habits do you think strengthen our relationship?
What habits hurt our ability to connect?
How can we handle disagreements without shutting down or yelling?
Do you feel comfortable expressing needs or do you hold back?
What’s one thing I could say more often that would make you feel appreciated?
How can we create more space for daily check-ins?
What communication skill would you like to develop together?

2. Trust & Honesty (10 Questions)

Do you feel I am transparent with you about important areas of my life?
Has anything damaged your trust in me that we haven’t fully repaired?
What does honesty mean to you in a relationship?
Are there small lies or omissions that bother you?
How can I show you that you can depend on me?
Do you believe we both keep each other’s best interests at heart?
Have past relationships influenced how much you trust me?
Do you feel safe to be your authentic self with me?
How do we rebuild trust after a conflict?
What boundaries would help protect trust in our relationship?

3. Conflict Resolution (10 Questions)

Do we resolve disagreements or let them linger?
What is your conflict style (avoiding, compromising, competing, accommodating)?
How do you feel after most of our arguments—closer or further apart?
What is one recurring argument we never fully resolve?
What role do I play in escalating conflict?
What role do you play?
How could we fight more fairly?
What “rules” could we set for heated moments?
Do we apologize effectively?
What could repair look like after conflict?

4. Intimacy & Affection (10 Questions)

Do you feel satisfied with the physical intimacy in our relationship?
How do you prefer to give and receive affection?
What’s one new way we could connect physically?
Do you feel emotionally connected during intimacy?
Are there barriers preventing you from being vulnerable?
How does stress affect our intimacy?
Do you feel comfortable sharing your sexual needs with me?
How do we balance romance with daily responsibilities?
What role does affection play in making you feel loved?
How can we reignite passion when things feel routine?

5. Finances (10 Questions)

Do you feel we manage money as a team?
Do you trust me with financial decisions?
What financial habits cause you stress?
Are we aligned on saving vs. spending?
How do you feel about our division of financial responsibilities?
What long-term financial goals matter most to you?
Do money issues ever spill over into unrelated arguments?
How do financial pressures affect your sense of security?
Do you feel supported in your career or financial contributions?
How can we improve our financial communication?

6. Parenting & Family (10 Questions)

Do we share parenting responsibilities equally?
Do you feel respected in your parenting role?
Are there areas where we undermine each other in front of children?
Do we model healthy conflict for our kids?
What parenting values do we both agree on?
What values do we disagree on?
How do we balance parenting with couple time?
Do you feel appreciated for your parenting contributions?
How do we want our children to describe our relationship?
What parenting challenges do you feel unsupported in?

7. Goals & Future Planning (10 Questions)

Do we have a shared vision for our future?
How do our career goals affect our relationship?
What lifestyle do you envision in five years?
Do you feel included in my decision-making about the future?
What sacrifices do we expect each other to make?
How do we support each other’s dreams?
Do we share priorities around home, travel, or retirement?
What changes would you like to see in our daily routine?
How do we balance individual goals with couple goals?
What legacy do we want to create together?

8. Emotional Connection (10 Questions)

Do you feel emotionally safe with me?
When do you feel most connected to me?
What makes you feel disconnected?
Do I show enough empathy when you’re struggling?
What does emotional intimacy mean to you?
How can I better support your mental health?
Do you feel loved even when we’re not affectionate?
How do we celebrate each other’s wins?
Do you feel I understand your stressors?
How can we deepen our emotional connection?

9. Past Experiences (10 Questions)

How have past relationships shaped your expectations?
Do unresolved issues from the past impact us today?
Have we fully healed from previous conflicts between us?
What childhood experiences influence how you love today?
Do you carry fears of abandonment or betrayal?
How do past mistakes affect how you see me?
What lessons from past challenges make us stronger?
How do we process regrets together?
Do old arguments still resurface in new conflicts?
What closure do you still need from the past?

10. Commitment & Growth (10 Questions)

Do you feel I am fully committed to you?
How do we continue to grow together as a couple?
Do you feel taken for granted at times?
What rituals or traditions keep us connected?
How do we handle changes in our relationship?
Do you feel secure in our long-term commitment?
How do we celebrate milestones together?
What keeps you motivated in this relationship?
Do you feel we are stronger than when we started?
What is one thing you never want us to lose?

Using These Questions Effectively

These 100 questions are a powerful starting point. But without structure, couples sometimes find themselves stuck in old patterns, even when asking the right questions. That’s where professional counseling makes all the difference.

Why Work with Relationships & More in Westchester?

At Relationships & More, we provide couples with more than questions—we provide tools, strategies, and guided practice that lead to transformation.

Couples Counseling: For partners struggling with communication, trust, or conflict resolution.
Premarital Coaching: For engaged couples who want to strengthen foundations before marriage.
Individual Therapy: For those who want to work on their own patterns that affect relationships.

Our therapists understand the unique challenges couples in Westchester, NY face—high-pressure careers, long commutes, and the stress of balancing family life. We create a compassionate environment where both partners feel heard and supported.

Final Thoughts

Asking the right questions is a first step. But real change comes from turning those questions into deeper understanding and new behaviors. If you’re ready to strengthen your relationship, Relationships & More is here to help.

👉 Start today by scheduling a consultation with our Westchester counseling team. Together, we’ll turn tough conversations into opportunities for growth, intimacy, and lasting love.