Marriage is all about love, togetherness, and the constant process of developing as individuals and as a couple. However, with time and as the realities of life set in, many couples realize that they do not feel as emotionally close to each other as they used to. Stress in a work setting, family caregiving, caregiving, and economic constraints can cause a rift. If a couple is now experiencing feelings of drifting apart, then it does not necessarily mean that the relationship is over–it only means that a couple needs to work at it. Here is how you can reconnect and rebuild your love with your partner from within:

• Acknowledge the Disconnection Without Blame

The first thing, and probably the simplest one of all in terms of rekindling the flame in your marriage, is to accept the fact that there has been a drift in your marriage. Figuratively, the distance that is associated with an emotional separation is usually not instant but accrues over a period of time and is thus not easily recognizable. Communication should begin here in case you might need to talk with a reputable therapist to help unfold the underlying issues. Here, do not play the blame game, but acknowledge the issue for what it is—that it is an issue that affects both of you and, hence, is solvable. Use diplomatic, non-aggressive language and say: “I think that something has changed, and I was wondering if we could get back to being really close like before.” This provides a foundation for talking about it and establishes the intention of working together to rebuild the relationship.

• Reignite Emotional Intimacy Through Communication

Love is a central component of any bond, and trust is the key to its manifestation. This article explains that inevitably, many couples lose the ability and willingness to communicate on a deeper level, and conversations become reduced to rounds of asking each other about chores and schedules. Rebuilding your emotional connection means getting to know one another again on a different level – at least, that’s how I see it – and listening to each other’s thoughts, aspirations, worries, and company. Establish a habit of asking good questions and, more importantly, paying attention to the answers. Giving at least ten minutes of undivided attention per day can go a long way in changing the climate and increasing intimacy.

• Spend Quality Time Together—Intentionally

Distances may not separate people but can sever the bonds of actual union. This is intentional quality time, which is time spent on activities that create pleasure and positive interaction. Set specific dates for both of you, or find spare time, at least an hour or two, to engage in fun activities that you can do together, for example, preparing a meal together, taking a walk, or watching a movie without distractions. Notably, exploring something new, such as a hobby or weekend getaway, can also be exciting for both of you and help your relationship grow even stronger. The most important thing is to remain wholly engaged in these moments and treat the time spent together as a meeting of the utmost importance.

• Rebuild Physical Intimacy at Your Own Tempo

This is because physical contact and affectionate relationships are intertwined and similar to the darkness that follows the absence of light. Restoring a physical closeness is not necessarily about the next step towards sex—it is about how we reintroduce ourselves to affection. Hugging, hand Iying, or merely cuddling on the couch can go a long way in easing this. The aim is to bring comfort and warmth into your touch and back into your physical contact. Communication should be lovey-dovey without necessarily advancing to the next level but just letting things grow and develop naturally. Patience and openness are required in this stage when one or both partners may feel emotionally starved due to lack of attention.

• Reaffirm Your Commitment

I am relieved to hear that reconnection is not solely aimed at solving issues and sorting things out but rekindling the affection that you once had. Little gestures, simple words, and expressions of love can help to make a partner feel that you still care and have not given up. Take time to re-establish your common purpose, and share your intent to continue to construct a life together as a couple. Regardless of language, be it verbal or non-verbal, remind your spouse how much you value them and that your feelings for them have not changed. Security stems from reassurance that helps to establish and develop relationships.

Start Today!

It is always possible to reconnect with your spouse, no matter how long the period of separation may have been. Even if one has all the physical resources in the world – time, money, freedom, opportunity, creativity – it still requires self-introspection, communication, purposeful shared moments, and the readiness to change. It is only natural for two individuals to drift apart at certain times in their lives, but when the couple both genuinely compromise and care for each other’s feelings, the relationship can be fixed and grow even tighter. Remind your partner that you choose to love them every day, and give them the love you need and desire in words, touch, and time, and your relationship will become significantly happier and closer.